There's always this feeling of being under appreciated, used and forgotten. We give and give till there is nothing else and then we get hurt. Not that we expect a thing in return, or anything like that. It's just that it really hurts when we've been forgotten so many times after we have cared so much for them. When we are left out even when they are always on the top of our list. .when we actually mean nothing to them even when they are our number one priority. It hurts.it really does. Its like you are nobody after all. You know, i dont know if u've ever felt like that. At times i feel like i wanted to sleep for thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I know, wanting that is very morbid, but i want it when i get like this. That's why im trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning. But, i didnt understand then. That you could hurt so badly she would never recover. How could a person can, just by living, damage another human being beyond repair? How can you be so mean?
But i need to learn from my past and shut the door behind to live in present. Our past is just like a dry rose, which was once a rose with all colors of life, with sweet fragrance, with soft petals.. With thorns..but now it is left with only thorns, which COULD STILL HURT. But i want him to promise me, that he wont forget our laughs, our jokes, our conversations, our smiles, our plans, our tears, our memories and our experiences.
Someday, i'll forget the hurt, the reason i cried, and who caused me pain. I will finally realize that the secret of being free is not revenge, but letting things unfold in their own way and own time. After all, what matters is not the first, but the last chapter of our life which shows how well we ran the race.
One day you will realize how much i was there for you, when im gone.
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