i dont know what i feel right now..

sigh.i dont know what i feel right now.im happy, but at d same time im scared and sad. I hv no idea what is happening to me. It's just..im afraid i will get hurt again. Before this,from time to time i try to heal myself,alone,and all of sudden this time i feel so weak. These few days i forgot that once,few months ago, i was so hopeless, heartbroken person, and strong enough to fight sadness and pain.I regain back my strength all by myself. But this time? I dont know..am i too stupid? Or have i forgotten all the sadness n pain that i've been thru before this?And just let it be and act like nothing happened? Or am i so dumb, let myself playing with fire,since i've already know the truth? I hv no answers for all that. All i know is, im so happy now, and sad..sometimes when i wanna laugh, i feel i wanna cry too. both. And i really need to go somewhere to release my mind..to get away from all this thing..and i hope when i come back, i will find myself back.the real me.i hope i can face the truth.Bcos the truth is, im afraid to face tomorrow, the day after tomorrow,and so on..i dont know who i am anymore. "How could this happened to me, i got nowhere to run, im sick of this life.."