Saturday.

Hola peeps. Today was not a good day i guess. :(. Yaallah.. Sakitnya kepala dr ptg td until now blom hilang.sampai skrg terbaring atas katil je ni. Nk bangun je sakit sgt especially kt blakang kepala smpai ke leher. Pagi2 lagi aku bangun dh menangis. Mcm2 kejadian.pastu xmkn smpai kul 4 ptg.ni la padahnya.migrain bagai nak pecah kepala. Dh mkn panadol pn sakit ya amat.
Mcm2 jadi..risau salah,mayb i cared too much. Sbb tu org menyampah. Mayb aku ni risau xbertempat sbb tu org rimas.but how.. Cannot help it. Ble dh care, mesti nk make sure dia sntiasa ok, sehat. Tp u dont know yg my action mayb blh buat org rimas. Rasa xdihargai sgt. Dgn layanan dingin, rse ape yg aku dh buat xdipeduli. Xpela mayb dis is my fault.cause i care too much.
Xpela, kepala dh berat sgt..yaAllah hopefully cpt ok..

Xoxo

Its been a while.

Hola peeps! Dh lama rsenye tak update entry psl diri sendiri ni. Awal2 create blog ni je excitedd but as time goes by, dh malas nk update2 slalu..
Haihh..since laptop pn dh jahanam, lg la mls..update blog pn kne thru phone. Well right now im officially doing nothing for 6months! Hahaha. Gile lah, patutnye aku bekerja, since dh jd degree holder ni, tp LLB pnye pasal...sanggup tggu utk further study.
Waa gigih kan? If blh pas LLB nk amek master. Cita2.. Fuh! Double degree and master.bkn ape, nk tunjukkan kt org yg slalu pandang rendah to me yg aku pn mampu jugak. InsyaAllah if diri ni xmalas2, lpas LLB ni aku nk smbung master.so basically ade 2 degree and master.
Ddk skrg ni, teringat blk those good memories.haih how i wish i can turn back times.zaman dlu2 masa bdk2 xmatang dlu. Rasa diri ni dh tua sgt skrg.i miss those good moments dgn kwn2, bbq time, naik genting, curi2 kua lpak..but now rse xdpt blk sume keseronokan tu
Ntah..rse mcm xtau what will happen to me in future. So hard to imagine.mayb one day kwn2 smua dh ade haluan masing2 but me? I dont know..
Kdg2 fikiran bercelaru..this is not what i want. Xtau status diri ni. I hv to do something but how??
Sometimes u can have something but u cant own them.face the reality right?

Xoxo :)

Goodnight.

I write this entry cos i feel sad today. Cause i feel lonely right now. Cause i cant sleep. Cause i cant stop thinking bout you. Cause i cant stop concerning about you. Its raining outside and i feel empty inside. So much love and memories, keep lingering in my mind. YaAllah i feel contented. YaAllah give me strength.

Im writing this entry, again, even i feel so tired and sleepy but i just cant sleep. Gudnite and sweetdre.

Wounds.

The wounds never heal at the first place, i guess.yet, you never choose me, ever.i love you is just a word, merely just a word of saying 'hello' for you.but for me it means something. How could i ever love someone who will never ever choose me for the rest of his life? Restricting my chance to love someone else.just because of him. Did he ever see? Realize? Or even bother? Or mayb he doesnt feel anything because he has someone better? I hope i know what my future will brings me. You gave her a ring, but i never get it.you make it official with her.now i realize who is special actually, eventhough u keep denying.
Maybe you think she has everything, and shes the one for you. And i hv many flaws but just remember nobody's perfect. I am who i am and eventhough im not like her, but i am perfect in my own way, perfect for someone who will appreciate me someday.Im hurting inside, dying inside. It keeps haunting me, all these feelings.
Just remember me one day, the one that will always love you. I cant have you, but atleast i can love you.
Maybe Allah has a better plan for me.One faithful day, when im gone,i hope u will still remember my name.

Love battle

The wound heals but it never does
That's cause you're at war with love
You're at war with love


These battle scars, don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
This battle
Never let a wound ruin me
But I feel like ruin's wounding me
Arrow holes, they never close from cupid on a shooting spree
Feeling stupid cause I know it ain't no you and me
But when you're trying to beat the odds up
Been trying to keep your nods up
And you know that you should knowAnd let him go
But the fear of the unknown
Holding another lover strong


I wish I couldn't feel, I wish I couldn't love
I wish that I could stop cause it hurts so much
And I'm the only one that's trying to keep us together
When all of the signs say that I should forget him
I wish you weren't the best, the best I ever had
I wish that the good outweighed the bad
Cause it'll never be over, until you tell me it's over

See, you hoped the wound heals, but it never does
That's cause you're at war with love

Sends you back into the zone
With no Tom Hanks to bring you home
A lover not a fighter
On the frontline with a poem
Trying to write yourself a rifleMaybe sharpen up a stone
To fight the tanks and drones of you being alone


I wish I never looked, I wish I never touched
I wish that I could stop loving you so much
Cause I'm the only one that's trying to keep us together
When all of the signs say that I should forget him
I wish you weren't the best, the best I ever had
I wish that the good outweighed the bad
Cause it'll never be over, until you tell me it's over

You shouldn't have but you said it
(And I hope you never come back)
It shouldn't have happened but you let it
Now you're down on the ground screaming medic
The only thing that comes is the post-traumatic stresses
Shields, body armors and vests don't properly work
That's why you're in a locker full of hurt
The enemy within and all the fires from your friends
The best medicine is to probably just let him win

Let me love you

Much as you blame yourself, you can't be blamed for the way that you feelHad no example of a love that was even remotely real
How can you understand something that you never had  baby, if you let me, I can help you out with all of that

Now let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn to love yourself
Now let me love you
And all your trouble
Don't be afraid,  let me help
 let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn to love yourself
 let me love youV
A heart of numbness gets brought to life
I'll take you thereNow let me love you
Now let me love you, baby, oh
Now let me love youNow let me love you, baby
Now let me love you
Let me love you, let me love you, oh

I can see the pain behind your eyes
It's been there for quite a while
I just wanna be the one to remind you what it is to smile
I would like to show you what true love can really do

 let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn to love yourself
Now let me love you
And all your trouble
Don't be afraid,  let me help
Now let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn to love yourself
Now let me love you
A heart of numbness, gets brought to life
I'll take you there

Now let me love you, baby
Now let me love you
Let me love you, let me love you, baby
Now let me love you
Now let me love you, baby
Now let me love you
Let me love you,  let me love you, baby
For every heart that breathe

Too close to love you.

You know I'm not one to break promises,
I don't want to hurt you but I need to breathe.
At the end of it all, you're still my best friend,
But there's something inside that I need to release.
Which way is right, which way is wrong,
How do I say that I need to move on?
You know we're heading separate ways.

And it feels like I am just too close to love you,
There's nothing I can really say.
I can't lie no more, I can't hide no more,
Got to be true to myself.
And it feels like I am just too close to love you,
So I'll be on my way.

You've given me more than I can return,
Yet there's oh so much that you deserve.
There's nothing to say, nothing to do.
I've nothing to give,
I must live without you.
You know we're heading separate ways.

And it feels like I am just too close to love you,
There's nothing I can really say.
I can't lie no more, I can't hide no more,
Got to be true to myself.
And it feels like I am just too close to love you,
So I'll be on my way.

So I'll be on my way.

And it feels like I am just too close to love you,
There's nothing that I can really say.
I can't lie no more, I can't hide no more,
Got to be true to myself.
And it feels like I am just too close to love you,
So I'll be on my way.